Prepare you self Laui, for now Sifu will share with you the most mysterious secret of Kung-Fu, so secret that to know it you must become Chinese. Are you ready, Laui? Are you ready to become Chinese? Good; now you are all Chinese and can learn the ultimate Kung-Fu Death Strike. Ultimate Kung-Fu Death Strike is psychic and invisible; it cannot be stopped by any means. Because you are all Chinese, Sifu will now perform the ultimate ultimate Kung-Fu Death Strike.

Capoeira

At some point in this video, Sifu will tell you Dim-Mak Death Joke. It is the funniest joke in Kung-Fu. You will not know when Sifu tell; it is that clever. But you will think about it. Sifu punch line, him so subtle, it will take you two days to get it. When Dim-Mak Death Joke strike, the proverbial Ninja Penny will drop, piercing you brain with mysterious psychological chimp. Ninjas monkeys rampage around you brain, destroying cerebral cortex. You will laugh until you go crazy and die while you family disown you. It will be as if you brain were tickling you to death, while you are kick you self in the balls for not getting it earlier. You sides will split and you will choke on you tongue. You heart will explode and you will piss you self from Sifu's Kung-Fu funniness, but before you die you will be compel to tell the joke to a friend… who will not find it funny! The knowledge that he is doom will make you laugh ever harder. It will take hours and days for you to die, uttering the punch line! You only hope to survive is to rush you self to hospital at once Laui, and be voluntarily lobotomised before the deadly Dim-Mak Death Joke can strike.

The world shall hear from me again...

The art of winning

Before difficult lesson in Japanese Martial Arts philosophy that will prove that all you doubting Laui are wrong, Sifu give you Laui something easy for to chew in you brain; if you do not mean to win fight, why in hell you still standing there? There is you mugger, waving him knife and demanding you wallet. You have three choices: beg for you life and hand over you wallet, put up you fists or take to you toes. Assuming you will not simply surrender, either run fast or fight hard.

Jutsu vs do

Consider, unenlightened Laui, what is the purpose of martial arts. Martial arts of Japan recognise three things that are priority consideration; morality, beauty and practicality. To the "Do" martial arts, Karate, Aikido, Judo, Kendo, Jodo, Kobudo, etc, most importance is that martial artists be good people, second most important is aesthetics of movement and form, and only third consideration is combat applicability. Result of this is highly refined martial arts where the "Art" is emphasise to detriment of the "Martial" aspect of training.

'Jutsu' Martial art of Japan; besides Jiujutsu, Kenjutsu, Bojutsu, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Koppojutsu, Iaijutsu, Kobujutsu and many more, these styles include Kyushujutsu, which, for all you stupid Laui out there is Japanese art of Nerve Striking, equivalent of Dim-Mak Kung Fu. Quite obvious therefore that nerve striking belong quite firmly to the class of styles that consider first priority any martial art is that it be effective, second most important is consider morality and only third and least important consider audience appreciation.

If you can't take the heat…

Before you begin, you must be prepare to overmatch you opponent; no matter you skill or moral superiority, if you opponent is more violent and more willing to hurt you, he will almost certainly succeed. It is not necessary that you actually kill you opponent, Laui; when he is down, stop kicking him. What is require is that you be willing to kill him if necessary for guard you own life. This man has knife, you must assume he is willing to kill you; therefore you must be prepare to kill him in turn. Having this resolution will deter you enemy from the outset; he does not want a difficult fight, him want an easy win. There is no shame in running away, and no way you can win if you cannot imagine hurting anyone. Do not try to fight with some half-ass idea of doing it nicely; just put on you running shoes and take to you toes.

Nerve points

Combined with other martial arts, nerve strikes maximise the damage inflicted by kicking you opponent head, punching him kidneys, breaking him arm with wristlock and throwing him face-first at the floor. You learn all them wristlock and throw for only do gently, Laui? When you do Karate punch you train so hard, you only gonna pat the guy? Mister Tae-Kwon Do going to throw him flashy kick over mugger head, not hit him at all and just try to show off? The purpose of nerve striking is minimise the effort and use of force in defeating your opponent; they are for efficiency of violence and nothing else.

Victory is not immoral

Competition sports are immoral, Laui. Martial Arts are about life and death, not being best fighter or doing flashiest kick. It about blood and sweat, not points. True martial artist is no concern with trophies or belts; there is no "best", only better; every day a little bit better, so that he can be just a little better the enemy. If you can't fight, run; you don't got to be fastest runner alive, just faster than you pursuer.

THE WORLD SHALL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!

Fighting with fists is scary, but it is no shame to be scared; fear is cause by adrenalin, which is chemical produce by you body to induce "fight or flight reflex". When fight start, you body is do some maths and come to automatic decision whether you survive best by fight like Samurai or run like Ninja. If you choose to run, then run good and fast; big trouble for you if you stand there full of fear but doing nothing. Adrenalin will help you run fast, but it also help you fight good. Sifu is not here to tell you about how to run; Sifu here talk about how to fight, how to win, how to kick anyone ass.

Remember first rule of all fight; you opponent is full of adrenalin too. You opponent is not Terminator or some kinda superman; he is just normal guy, maybe bigger than you but so what? He is still only flesh and blood, full of squishy organs; he is feel pain and fear just like you. Right when you are deciding whether to put up you fists or take to you toes, you opponent is thinking the exact same thing. He is looking for you fear to see if he can win; if you are angry and ready to fight, no matter how big he is, you opponent will question whether fighting you is a good idea.

Attitude

It is all a question of attitude Laui; it not matter if you are big muscle guy full of kickboxing lessons or small woman attack by big strange man, you attitude is the only thing that counts for shit in a fight. The correct attitude, the mind-set that will win you almost any fight, is that you opponent is take him life in him hands when he mess with you. If you are worry about hurt you enemy, he will kick the crap out of you. If you quite content to put you opponent in hospital, then you are already on the way to winning even before the first punch is thrown.

The First Punch

This is all-important moment, Laui. If you can, take the initiative and punch you opponent right in the face just as hard as you can; ball up you fist good and tight, put you weight behind it and assert you self! Smack, right in the face, let him know you mean business. Many Laui will back off after one good smack in the face, even if they not badly hurt. If you are girl, this is no time to be feminine because a slap in the face will not do, and some men actually like being slapped; punch him, girly Laui, punch him right in the face and call him bastard. If you are good at punch, pick you best target and go for it; if you are not know how to punch, go for the nose and the top of the lip. The nose is soft and easily broken, while the jaw is the single bone of the human body and very hard to break; a big man can take a crack on the jaw, but no amount of steroids will toughen up you nose.

It is possible opponent hit you first, but that is still not the end of you fight! Pick you self up off the floor and square right up to him again, even if you nose is busted and you cannot see for the blood and tears; get right back in you opponent's face and grin through the blood like a rabid wolf. Most Laui who start fight have only one good punch in them; there is good chance that you opponent will turn white and run when his first punch is not enough to stop you.

The Actual Fight

Assuming the first punch is not the end of it (and remember that most fight last between five and ten seconds), now is when it gets nasty. You and you opponent are really get it on now, with grappling and punching and crashing about through the furniture. Now it is too late for fear, Laui; now you are gladiator, now you are Samurai, now you are fight for you life, so give it bloody laldy! ('Laldy' is Scottish word, mean "go completely berserk") That right Laui; now is no time to be squeamish or think about moral dimension. You opponent is certainly not worry about morality; he is too busy grabbing you in headlock and trying to punch you face and balls. Now is time for dirty fighting, so stick you thumb in his eye. This will stop anyone; no matter how big he is or how hard him biceps, eyeballs are always soft, so stick you thumb in good and wiggle it. If you cannot get at his eyes, grab him by the balls; do not be squeamish, Laui, just grab, squeeze and pull. While you are squish you opponents eyes and balls, belabour him with punches. Hit him in balls, hit him in the face, not one punch or two but many; rain you fists upon him even if you are half his size. If you opponent is big, you may not be able to actually injure him, but you mere ferocity will give him fear; as soon as he begins to retreat, redouble you assault! Lay into him like living punch bag, get stuck right in there with you fists, screaming and swearing and telling him is a dead man, he is going home in ambulance and will from now on be drinking him lunch through a straw.

Finishing The Fight

Human body is strange; in some ways, it is like a tank, able to take amazing amount of punishment. On the other hand, human body also like cut-crystal vase; very easily damaged. Man can survive fall from plane or die from fall out of bed; it all depend where he is hit. Punching alone will not win fight; you ever watch a boxing match, Laui, watch how long it go on? Try to fight a big man like this and eventually strength and endurance will win over spirit and aggression. Purpose of berserk punching frenzy is only to gain a moment's advantage in which to strike you opponent down. When you can, wrap you arm around opponent's neck and squeeze. If you cannot get him like this, bust him in the balls like you are launching a rocket into space; blast you knee or you shin or you fist (or baseball bat, pool cue, hockey stick, whatever) right into his nut-sack and smack him bollocks up behind him teeth. Maybe you cannot hit the balls because you opponent is cover up against you punches; that is okay, just bash him over the head instead. Consider clap you hands on opponent's ears like maybe you see in kung-fu film; do it hard and punch you opponent face right after just to be sure. Whatever you do, do it hard and damn well mean it; Sifu is assuming it is opponent who start fight and you are defending you self, so hit hard with Sifu's blessing.

If you opponent go down, kick him before he can get up. Only now should you consider morality or reasonable force; if someone attack you and you are able to get him on the floor, it perfectly fine to kick him once or twice to keep him there. Restrain yourself to one good kick in the teeth or balls, maybe a couple of good kicks in the ribs, but do not become yourself the aggressor and kick you helpless victim to death. Once he is down and not about to get up, you have won and the fight is over, so stop kicking. With that in mind, remember to kick just as hard as you can; if you opponent get up now, he will be really serious mad and try to kill you in earnest, so kick him hard and then run for it.

After the Fight

It is very strange thing about police, Laui, that they always assume winner of fight was the man who started it. Do not stand over you opponent beating you chest in victory, but instead scarper pronto; the police will not congratulate you for winning the fight, but arrest you (yes, Sifu know it crazy, but that is what happens). Even if you are in the right, maybe you opponent was mugger or rapist, get the hell away from the scene just as fast as you can. If you opponent is not getting up anytime soon and there is no one around, go through his pockets. If he was mugger, he may have other people's wallets which you can either return to rightful owners or keep as you fair due for removing mugging scum from streets; he will at very least have him own wallet, which you can use to report him anonymously to the police.

As soon as you are away from fight scene, go home or go to pub and have a stiff drink, maybe smoke cigarette to calm down. You maybe shake or cry or even throw up; that is all adrenaline and nothing to worry about. As soon as you are calm, check for blood and injuries. If you are bleeding or in serious pain, call an ambulance. No matter how good a fighter you are, you will get knocked around in a scrap, so check you self out. Assuming you are only bashed up and slightly cut, get in bath or shower and clean off, then have another drink. If you can, have sex with you partner; all that adrenaline will make you feel like victorious lion of fighting and sex. If victory sex is not on the cards, find a friend or relative to give you a hug. If you have flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia or symptoms of craziness, get counseling ASAP.

Sifu's Summary

1. Either give the first punch and mean it, or else take the first punch and get right up off the floor.
2. Go berserk and fight dirty; forget normal morality and get seriously violent.
3. Shout, swear, roar, threaten and scream; this will make you look and feel like dangerous nutter.
4. Injure your opponent. It might seem obvious, Laui, but to win you must cause your enemy serious harm.
5. Run. When fight is over, run for it; the police are rarely on the winner's side.
6. Look after you self, Laui. Find a safe place and apply first aid. Get counselling if you need it.

WHAT HAVE WE COVER?

So far, Sifu talk about basics of what are nerve points, what nerve points can do and how it is all science and medical fact, not mumbo jumbo or strange Oriental religion. Today, Sifu discuss specifics of nerve striking in more detail, and maybe also explore more subtle applications of technique.

STRIKING

Basically speak, all strikes are nerve strikes because that is how you body work; pain is register by the nerves and transmit to the brain. It not necessary to strike hard and fast; faster you hit, harder to aim; harder you hit, usually more tension and less control. Make powerful hit is not about be tense and angry; powerful hit is about technique and flow. Obviously, it about Chi too. In fact it mostly about Chi; most things in Martial Arts are. When you strike, use you chi, focus on accuracy over power and consider the effect of you attack. It all very well bash man in teeth, knock him back on him heels, but if him bigger than you, him might not go down. Better perhaps to hit the side of him jaw, turn him head and throw off him balance, ready for you follow up attack. What if you need human shield? Poke man hard in eye make him retreat, but put you thumb in eye socket gently will leave time for to get grip on enemy face; now him is going nowhere! So think about what you want to achieve Laui; maybe hit man gently now allow you hit him damn hard a second later, right in the balls and the face.

CHI, JING AND ELECTRICITY

Okay, Sifu is not bullshit you at all; chi is energy release by human action of breathing. That is what it is; most ancient source say chi mean breath, some say chi mean the blood; basically, chi is energy release as oxygen from breath entering flow of blood stream. Chi is Chinese word for complex scientific idea understood already by Laui everywhere. To ‘use you chi’ is mean to deliberately regulate energy output of you breathing; to have strong chi is to maximize energy release of you breath, to use it more efficiently.

What then is Jing? Jing is less known Chinese word, mean kinetic force, physical power. Basically, it is shock wave generate on impact of fist with opponent. A weapon may be say to ‘carry more Jing’; this mean that weapon can be swung harder and faster before it break. A pool cue has only small Jing, while an iron bar has lots. A big, tense man has very small Jing; a relaxed, fast man has more. There is all science and maths tied up with velocity multiply by mass of object equal kinetic force, but that not really important for basic idea; jing is scientifically measurable force that is easy to explain in Chinese but damn long in you Laui talk.

All Laui know what is electricity, so Sifu simply remind you that nerves use micro-pulse of electricity to carry pain signals from you bruises to you brain; there is electricity in all Laui, only very small. To hit man well is to use Jing; to breathe and focus when you hit is to use chi; striking with Jing and Chi together generate twice as much force behind hit. Attack nerves using Jing and Chi is to attack opponent three ways at once; this is why nerve points so good to know, because knowledge allow you to hit three times for price of one. Have novice Laui martial artist ever wonder why be hit gently by black belt so much more painful than be hit hard by beginner? It is because black belt is attack with multiple weapons in a single strike. To explain using Oriental metaphor is easy; there are many energies present in the body, Laui, and all can be brought to bear in a single technique.

BE SUBTLE

It is worthwhile for all Laui to know why them have nerves to begin with: Nerves are for you sense of touch, Laui. When you feel pain, you pull away and flinch automatically. Sometimes, it is better to not hurt you opponent right away. How if you touch your raised fists to his, lean on him like a boxer, that he become used to you presence and weight; now if you break contact to throw punch, he will know; he will feel it with his sense of touch. So lean one hand on him guard and keep the other back; now he is aware of you touch and contact. Gently, when timing is right, swap contact of you hands, so that you left hand is no longer on him guard; instead, you are lean on him with you right hand. Do gently, and opponent will not notice, even if him see. Him will not react, because to him sense of touch, to awareness of him nerves, nothing has change. Do well, and you can explain move to opponent, explain him exactly what you do, and still it will work; sense of touch, actual feel, overrides evidence of eyes and ears every time. Now you can loop you left hand over opponent guard and punch him right in the face. Key to this move is to be gentle and to use you footwork; all technique begin in the footwork, Laui. And in the Chi.

This trick also work in reverse; rather than try to block incoming punch by eye, simply lean on you opponent guard with gentle pressure of you hands or wrists; now when him punch, you always know and you hands are already there, following his every move. This technique sometime call ‘Mishimi’ in Japanese martial arts, common call ‘sticking hands’ in west, but this too is about nerves, Laui, about use you own sense of touch to discover opponent vulnerable spot, such as him balls and face, without you get hit in turn.

KILLING HANDS

It is very easy teach man to kill with him bare hands; lethality is not in speed or power, but in knowledge and intent. To win a fight, any fight, you must understand that you opponent intent you serious harm; to defend you self, you must be prepare to kill him. It that simple Laui; if you not willing to risk injure you opponent, him will kick you ass all over the street. Only way to win is to resolve that opponent is going to hospital on the end of you fist, and then do you best to send him there toot-sweet. Once you have violent resolve, it is very likely you opponent will be seriously harmed and maybe killed in the fight about to ensue.

That is his problem, Laui; him have take him life in him own hands when him have dare to attack you. Only this attitude will win, Laui; any thing less and you are the one who will be eating the floor. Second part of win fight is knowledge; if you know how to punch, and where, you have advantage over untrained person and know-nothing mugger who rely on surprise and force of numbers.

If you have knowledge of human anatomy, the way human body fit together, you can target you strikes to vulnerable points, apply pressure where it will do the most damage, and beat you opponent to within an inch of him life very efficiently. Simple example; human skull is very tough, heavily armored. There is not much point in batter away at skull with you fists; punch to the face generally only lethal if opponent fall down and crack him skull on the floor. Knowing this, you can tailor you attack so that enemy face bounce off pavement like basketball.

Alternatively, human neck all full of muscle; it no good try to crush muscle for to choke enemy out. Better instead to apply pressure to soft flesh of trachea and Adam’s apple; here is enemy windpipe and nerves leading to brain, which is what you are trying to get at when applying choke-hold. More complex method of striking nerves only come from long practice and study, but basic understanding begins with basic human anatomy and realistic understanding of what you do.

LAUI IS YOU!

That right, you all are Laui. Laui is Chinese word, rough translate into English as ‘round eyed crazy foreigner‘. That mean you Laui, with you crazy foreign ways. Sifu constant amaze by strange Laui behaviour, call you crazy for the things that you do. Perhaps day come that people in crazy nation of the west act civilize and not like Mad Hatter at Tea Party, but until then you will all be Laui in you Sifu's eyes.

STORY TIME

Loyal Laui reader also request Sifu tell more story. Okay, Sifu love tell story, especially about ninjas. What are ninjas? Some would say ninja is only member of secret cult of ancient Japan, and that no westerner can ever truly be ninja. When Sifu come to UK, him stay in dirty flophouse infest with rat. Huge rat, Laui, big as little dog, and very fearsome. Rat live under floorboard in Sifu room where him sleep at flophouse, and it keep him awake all night. Sifu very disturb by rat, but him not know what to do.

Sifu consult ancient wisdom, ask what would Fu Manchu do? Answer come to Sifu from higher realm of Kung Fu consciousness; Fu Manchu would hire ninja to kill rat. So Sifu seek ninja, but find none, for they are invisible. Instead, Sifu meet old man who own illegal handgun. Sifu observe old man powerful chi and take him to room infest by rat. Old man put one bullet in gun, point at floor and fire. Bullet go through floorboard, kill rat stone dead between the eyes, one shot, right in the face. Was this old man not ninja?

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!

Sifu explain summary for lesson covered so far, quickly proceed to more advance stuff.

WHAT ARE NERVES?

Nerves are like fleshy wires all through you body Laui, transmit information in form of pleasure and pain, sense of heat and touch. Nerves are part of human nervous system and go everywhere, to you fingers and toes, to all you organs, to you brain and eyes; everywhere in you whole body there are nerves run around and connect everything to you spine. You spine is like motorway for nerves, carry all information straight to you brain.

BASIC PRINCIPLES

Basic principle of nerve strike is to disrupt flow of information along nerves by induce pain. Striking exposed nerve point by accident or design cause massive pain signal that interrupt all other body information; too much pain disrupt important signals like balance, vision and hearing; specific strike to specific nerve point can create specific response of pain compliance in opponent. By extension of logic, specific attack to a sequence of nerve points creates more complex chaos within opponent’s nervous system, leading to more spectacular results, e.g., death.

THIS IS SCIENCE, LAUI!

There is nothing mystical or weird about nerve points, Laui; it is all science. Ancient Chinese Wisdom explain everything in mystical language because that was understood by martial artists long ago in Ancient Orient. Modern Western Laui should understand things as science because that is how Occidental Laui mind work; martial arts is all about science, Laui, it all about physics and math, psychology and human behavior.

History and philosophy teach you all about what is already known; modern science all about what we discovering now. Latest Laui discovery agree with Sifu Dansac; Ancient Chinese Wisdom know what it is talking about, but it is in mystical code. Ignore code, get to grips with science Laui; you nervous system is medical fact, any hit causing pain is register by you nerves and transmit to you brain.

To use nerve strike effectively, you must know where are nerves and how to hit the precise nerve to create the precise pain that will result in a precise reaction within you opponent. All this is logic; if you still not believe in nerve points, shut up and go home, Sifu is not speak you no more.

NERVE STRIKING

Good news Laui; it not necessary you spend months and years training punch be so accurate you can hit nerve point like Clint Eastwood shooting hangman rope in great cowboy film. Nerve point can also be attack with joint lock, fingertip pressure of kung fu grip, and indirectly by heat, touch, distraction… the list go on; any pain or sensation is transmit by nerves, and all strikes are in theory nerve strikes; learn where are nerves and how to hit them is easy part, take only deep thought and study of text book to learn. Hard part is learn to attack opponent nervous system, play him nerves like a banjo until him cannot dance anymore.

DEATH STRIKING

That right Laui, nerve strike can kill! Study hard, learn right, get all science knowledge and body diagram in you head, practice combinations and accuracy, you too can learn how kill a man by nerve strike. Methods are many, principle is the same; one nerve strike will cause pain and opponent will flinch. Two to four nerve strikes may have some other adverse effect on him, such as dimming of vision, onset of fear, loss of balance, nausea, muscular weakness, acceleration of the heart rate, loss of bladder or bowel control.

Five or more nerve strike in sequence to a single nerve can cause sufficient feedback along you opponent spine that organs associated to those nerves can shut down. Various sequences of various nerves can induce heart attack or breathing arrest, resulting in death.

Finally, complex sequences involving multiple nerves on different points of the body can create unusual effects; opponent can be blinded without apparently suffering hit to face, or be render temporarily paralyze. Correct combination of strikes to correct nerves can imbalance rhythm of opponent’s heart, causing death weeks, days or hours later. In theory, Laui, it is even possible refine technique for you opponent to drop dead after him have taken five steps. Read whole article again if you still have any doubt; Sifu lesson is proceed entirely by logic and base on things you already know. There is no mumbo-jumbo here, Laui.

SKILL IS AN ILLUSION

Ancient wisdom teach that all the world is illusion of desire; Buddhism use mystic code word ‘Maya’ to define what is illusion. Illusion is stuff Laui, things you want, things that bother you, things that distract you mind from meditate and study of Kung-Fu. Everything that distract you, whatever is on TV, whatever you do for job, whatever going on in you head and life right now, all that is Maya, Laui.

Skill is also Maya; skill is something you desire, something you do not have; it is not real Laui, you only imagine acquiring it. Forget legend of ancient master with amazing kung-fu death fingers, and practice you own Kung Fu. You may never achieve mastery, but if you practice you will someday approach it; the search for mastery too is Maya, and you Kung Fu journey will never end. That’s right Laui; this is the Way of the Ninja!

The world shall hear from me again!

DO NOT BOTHER WITH GYM

Gym is big building run by businessman, Laui. Businessman not really want you to get fit; if you learn how exercise you self and get fit, you will leave gym and look after you own fitness for free. It not cost nothing do push-up, Laui, but it do cost for to join gym, use clever machine, get insurance, pay for private tuition… it is known fact that most Laui who join gym never go; them have waste them money. Be wise, Laui, and do not waste you time at gym. Buy some weights, read good book on fitness, take up physical hobby, go to gym for sport you could not otherwise do on you Laui own, but never think gym will take responsibility for get you fit. Gym only take responsibility for skin you wallet.

INJURIES

Gym expect you to get injure when you work out, Laui. Gym actually want you to get injure; instructors at gym will teach exercise wrong, so that you joints and tendons eventually become pain. Horrible but true; gym instructor must do special course for qualify teach fitness. On course, gym instructor wannabe learn to teach exercises subtle wrong so it take longer get fit and increase chance of injure. When you become injure, gym is right there with expensive physiotherapist help you get better, when it was gym that made you injure to begin with. Do not take what Sifu say for gospel, go and check it out; ask you gym instructor again about injury and see what him say. Gym instructor will fill you head with inevitability get injure, that injure is okay, physiotherapy all normal… it all lies Laui, just festering heap of lies!

MARTIAL ARTS

Modern exercise is new invention, less than hundred years; what hell them know, huh? Kung Fu thousands of years old, Yoga even older; them study human body and fitness long time, never even think about money until this century. Yoga say not normal get injure when work out; hurt body for improve is not good sense. Kung Fu agree; whole point of train is make yourself strong and safe, not weak and hurting. Martial Arts protect you from all kinds of mugger, even sneaky salesman type who try to con you.

In Martial Arts, there are no quick answer. Maybe some teacher say them have magic training, make you black belt tomorrow, but only very stupid people believe such rubbish. Martial Arts and fitness the same in one regard; both must come from within you Laui self. Give money away is not going make you fit, it just make you poor. You cannot sell you responsibility for you own body, put it in hands of hired fitness trainer, and expect see any benefit. You not get fit, and personal trainer use you money to get fat, give up him crummy job and buy plenty beer.

KNOCKING SHOPS

Do not let you girlfriend go to the gym either, Laui; gym is basically big knocking shop, full of ego-driven muscle types who try to mount her. Laui with issues about them body feel uncomfortable at gym, surround by big muscles and sweaty grinning egotists. People enjoy gym most are people enjoy look at them own reflection in all the mirrors, people who in love with them bodies and probably have mirrors on bedroom ceiling. Stay away from such people, Laui; they are weird and want to mount your girlfriend.

If you girlfriend (or boyfriend, point still the same) enjoy herself at gym too much, maybe even work there, wise Laui will beware! It only matter of time, because all staff at these gym places are shagging each other non-stop; sooner or later them try to mount you girlfriend. Gym is famous for it, people meet up and have it off in Jacuzzi, go home to family and pretend everything normal. Do not put up with it Laui!

Sifu could go on and on, but him knows that most Laui will only laugh and go to gym anyway. Fine Laui, fine; get rip off, get injure in you Tennis Elbow, spend all you money on physiotherapist, lose you girlfriend to sweaty fitness instructor, waste a year of you life trying to get fit, it your own business! Sifu see you again when you are poor are injured, depress about you girlfriend cheat on you at gym with hundred guys all more muscles than you,; Sifu see you then, when you want learn Kung Fu and other things that are real, things that are not rip-off gimmick spawned in corporate lie-Bible of salesman smart patter. Go ahead, Laui; worship at temple of Capitalist Lifestyle bullshit that is gym, it okay; everyone else there is stupid and gullible too, you will fit right in.

Do not blame gym instructor; poor gym instructor, him only want take all you money and mount you girlfriend; you should thank him, give him tip and lend him you car for to take girlfriend out. She will have better time with gym instructor than with you, Laui; you are poor and scrawny, he have him big muscles and all you money too, so him mount you girlfriend good.

STEADY ON…

You think Sifu too harsh on Gym instructor? Oh, you say you or maybe you good friend is gym instructor and you (or maybe you gym instructor friend) is take offense at Sifu teaching? You shut up! All other Laui, listen to Sifu and not to lying gym instructor, who is liar and always telling you lies; Sifu got nothing to gain by lie to you, Laui, while gym instructor whole livelihood depend on you believe lies that him say. He is just salesman! Salesman in gym shoes and sweaty shorts, tell you lies about how him can get you fit for special discount price!

SPECIAL DISCOUNT PRICE

This also is lie! There is no special discount; it is salesman trick, make you think you getting good deal. All salesmen are liars, Laui; best approach is be extremely to rude them, tell them clear off you property at once. Masaaki Hatsumi, who is chief Ninja in world today and sell many book on-line, him say; “City too is jungle; wild animals called human beings live in city and prey on one another.” That right Laui; all around you in jungle city, there is man or woman try to prey on you, devour you wallet for them lunch.

Salesman, gym instructor, traffic warden, celebrity, petty official, bloke from rival phone company, charity fund raiser in street, pyramid selling scheme, financial adviser at bank, all these are human hyena! Them are like cockroach, infest anywhere them can and suck you money like blood; throw them out in the street Laui, people like them got no place in decent society. Vampire capitalist is all them are, and gym is among worst of whole lot; gym is really mess with people head, entrench itself in society like poisonous tick burrowing into skin of big dumb dog…

There is no end to evils of gym, Laui; take Sifu advice and go to dojo instead, learn Kung Fu.

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!

WHY SIFU KNOCK KICKER?

Kick is difficult to train, take much study. Kicker must have excellent balance and practice flexibility every day . Kicker also often neglect other area of training, spend all day in the splits without ever put on boxing gloves. Sifu is only be realistic; kick is vital part of Kung Fu, set Martial Artist apart from lesser fighter, but kick is not be all and end all; good kicker is not necessary good fighter.

SO WHAT KICKER TO DO?

Kicker is not to be only kicker; him is train box and wrestle, understand that kick is limit to correct range and right circumstance. Kick comprise only 10% of technique use in fight, but man who cannot kick is deprive himself of that 10%. Sometime, maybe 1% of time in fight, amazing kick is only way to win. Therefore all Laui, whether them love kick or not, should practise splits and balance, learn to do cartwheel and train kick high. Learn you range for kick; know exactly what you range is and understand you speed. Study stance; best kick come from best stance. Good stance is good balance, and the lower you stance, the higher and more strong you kick.

Conversely, high stance is good for quick kick with no warning; practice both Laui, low stance and high, face-smashing super kick and sly lick of toe in enemy balls. Most of all, kicker must realize place of kick in overall strategy; bombs and airplanes not win war; whole army all together win war, every regiment do its own thing to achieve victory. Cavalry have no place charging machine guns, for save hostage send Special Forces, not nuclear air strike. Likewise, for fight up close or in small space, punch and grapple are you best weapons. For open space, very start of fight before opponent close, then is time for kick.

WHEN SHOULD LAUI KICK?

You have multiple opponent? Now is time for kick; now is time for deep stance and all that other flashy shit you learn so hard. Drop low stance, strike cool pose and challenge enemy. There is like three of four of them, they already going to kick you ass; so be brave! Show them what you can do; low stance, big noise, Kung Fu pose. Anyone can do this Laui, but only man who train can follow through; while evil mugger enemy hesitate, unleash most spectacular kick on biggest man face. Kick him, Laui, right in the face. Do you cool spin, give it you jump or you back flip, whatever you cool move is, do it now. Only important issue is that you foot connect with enemy face and horrifically wound him; knock him bang off him feet, spread him teeth all around and spray blood on him friends.

If you do this, him buddies hesitate more and you can do it again to next man in line. If you miss, throw kick for show against empty air, them all muggers jump on you together and kick you senseless; you wake up mugged and pissed on, without you wallet or shoes, maybe in hospital or gutter, and still you got to somehow get home. When you throw kick, you damn well better mean it Laui, and kick you mugger face so hard him eyeballs swap places in them sockets. Be serious with you kick Laui; four guys jump you and now is time to break some heads!

HOW TO TRAIN KICK

In cake that is good kick are two ingredients, Laui; balance and flexibility. Speed is not important; speed come with training, natural development of skill. Practice speed for fun and to show off to girls; when you alone and do serious training, practice stance and stretch, train balance and agility.

Do the splits. Go on do, right now! Try do the splits once per day for two weeks, by fourteenth time you will do the splits. It is easy learn do the splits; all it take is tiny dedication to try one time per day. Slightly harder is be serious about you flexibility, and spend at least 15 minutes every day stretch you self. Stretch arms too, you whole body, not just you legs, and do not push you weak Laui body too hard; work only hard as you are comfortable. When you are stretch, you should not break sweat or be short of breath. What you should be is in pain, Laui; stretch until it hurt and then stop. Do not stretch to the limit of you pain threshold; stretch only until you feel pain, then hold it just where it begin to hurt.

Push you self too hard, and important things in you body will rip and tear; you will do no more training for weeks and months. Stretch gently, but do not be wimp; feel the burn, but do not be stupid and hurt you self. Stretch every day for a month and you will begin to kick well; stretch every day for a year and you find kick easy. Stretch every day for the rest of you life, and you will become contortionist, maybe get job on TV or in circus, tying you self in knots; that right Laui, attitude not aptitude determine altitude, especially of kick.

Also train stance; stance is least popular aspect of train Martial Arts, but stance build muscles in leg and is also good for you flexibility. Good stance is good balance; all good student know this, so no one bother argue. Good stance is low and fluid; you are move from one stance to the next as situation demand, and you are able to kick form every stance and at any point of transition between different stance. To be master kicker, you are train stance so hard you have legs like footballer; nothing less will do Laui, are you serious about kick or not? Sifu Dansac never say it would be easy master kick; him say quite the opposite at length already.

Finally, train weapon. Yes, that right Laui, weapon. Weapon is best raining for balance; it is hard enough keep you balance on one leg with only hands and feet to worry about. Man who can kick well while handle sword or staff have excellent balance, so learn basics of at least one weapon. Practice you kick with and without weapon. In real fight you will not have big Martial Arts weapon to weigh you down; if you have train with weapon, kicking in real fight will be easier.

DIRTY FIGHTING WITH KICK

Best way to kick is dirty way; kick low, at opponent balls and knee. Kick him ankle, kick him joint of hip. It not take stretch every day to kick this low, Laui; if you not flexible you can still use you feet. If you more flexible, consider grab; Sifu have say again and again that kicker must also practice punch and grapple. When you kick, grab you opponent arm; use him for help you balance when you pant foot in him face. Using you opponent for balance help you generate power to throw fast kick without big wind-up; holding onto opponent also help you recover balance from kick, ready second kick or take him down with sweep.

ALL MARTIAL ARTIST SHOULD LEARN TO KICK

You were going to close enemy to punch him; why not try kick him face on your way in? If you miss, big kick is also big step, bring you close to enemy. If you hit, big kick is stun you enemy and knock out him teeth, maybe even win fight easy. If him still on him feet, him not nearly so tasty as before. If you are grab, kick him too; you can still do throw if kick not work, because now kick and grab work together like two for one deal. All you technique should be like this; punch, kick and grapple together, so that opponent cannot deal with all at once. If him duck kick, block punch and wriggle out of grab, still you can hit him with shoulder or knee him in the balls; if you are understand you technique, there is no limit to options for hit opponent wherever he is.

Make kick part of you arsenal, as easy as punch or grapple; do not think, just do. This kind of kick come only from hard training, Laui; to be good kicker without neglect other training require exceptional student. Do not be afraid; instead, try. Maybe you are natural, learn everything fast. Maybe you are just normal person, good at some things and ok at others; still train. Only by train will you get better.

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!

That right Laui; there is no such thing as block. Concept of block arise from misunderstanding of first western Laui to learn Martial Arts, particularly Karate. Sifu say again; there is no such thing as block. First Laui to learn Karate were American soldier after WWII; them learn from Japanese PoW Karate Masters, but them not understand Japanese language or fact that masters withhold certain knowledge for to maintain advantage over Western enemy.

Methods of block taught in Japanese and Korean style will not work in fight; you can stand there blocking all day Laui, and sooner or later opponent punch will get through. To use block for purpose you were taught is to engage in contest of speed and skill with opponent; where there is contest, there is chance that you can lose. Many Sensei and teachers in West do not include footwork, dodge or slip in defense training; them only teach and train block. Matter of common sense Laui; when man punch you, get out of the way. If you stand on spot and block, chance much greater you will be hit. In real fight, opponent throw punch from very close, much closer than normal training range and much too close to easily block.

In Kung-Fu, blocking technique always include dodge and strike as well; Sifu have had many Laui argue that there is block, that blocking alone will work and keep him safe. Many Laui very soon after sitting on floor nursing busted lip; blocking alone does not work because purpose of technique is misunderstood.

WHAT BLOCKS ARE FOR:

Purpose of block is to attack; movement described as block is always usable as attack. Rising Block is punch to face and forearm in throat, push opponent back and generate painful friction burn. Same apply with downwards block, which are often combine with low stand to punch opponent in balls or hip. For proof, Karate Laui should examine Ryukyu-Kempo, which say this exact thing and use block to attack nerve points in opponent arm.

IMPORTANCE OF RANGE:

Major issue with Laui blocking ideas is range. Most Laui classes train at medium to long range for effective punch and kick. Real fighting is take place at close range, room only for hook punch and grapple. What is characteristic of most block? Most block is use circular hooking motion like close-range punch. Inside block is very good sly punch to opponent ribs, outside block is hammer-fist or forearm strike to opponent temple, rib or elbow; inside-outside block use by Goju-Ryu and some other Karate style is hook punch to face or shrug beneath opponent arm and punch to chest. Laui who refuse to accept this is deny himself huge arsenal of hooking punches, forearm and elbow strikes already provided by existing style. It not necessary train new blocks here; it only necessary understand new application for technique already known.

Use block to attack opponent arm as you close range; use block when you already too close for straight punch or kick. Some Laui who fight in competition might say this is cheat, but real fight is not competition, Laui; man in bar not use tournament rules, him hit you with ashtray and grab you by throat, him stick cigarette up you nose, him fight real dirty. Real fight take place at close range because most man not trained fighter; him overcome fear and rush straight in, use weight and strength, not technique. Him not good puncher; him can’t hit moving target well, so him grab and hold you still before pile on fists. Range use in most training is to stop opponent grab you, but it don’t stop him try; to maintain range you must retreat always, compromise you own attack and confidence. So do not retreat, but close and use blocks as they were meant; for attack.

DODGING, FOOTWORK AND SLIPPING:

Dodge punch or kick is simple as get out of way; art of footwork make dodge easier, eventually become what boxer call ‘slip’. In Japanese Martial Art, ‘slip’ is call ‘Tai-sabaki’; most Laui with good teacher should have hear this term before, so you can see Sifu is not contradict you, only redirect understanding. Tai-sabaki is long word and hard to spell, so Sifu use boxing term Slip instead; it the same thing. Slip is to use body to deflect attack; allow opponent to hit you, but turn you body minutely so fist or foot glance off without harm. This is most easy practice on punches to chest and body; train with partner and use rotation of torso on axis of spine to deflect attack.

In real fight, slip and dodge are you first line of defense; block comes later, to deflect enemy off him line of attack and to strike incoming punch or kick. Sifu think it pretty obvious really; if opponent punch and you block, then him punch again. If opponent punch and you dodge, get close, position you self to side or behind him with footwork and use block for hurt arm and get wrist lock, then fight over pretty quickly.

ARGUMENTS OF STYLE:

Many Laui tied up with idea of ‘style’; they say, “That not my style,” or “We don’t do that in my school.” All talk like this is bullshit, Laui; no one style is complete defensive system and no fight ever abide by rules of fair. All style change and evolve through time; just so, all student evolve and change through learning. To lose through ignorance is one thing, Laui, but to lose because you reject new understanding is plain stupid. Even if you do not use new technique, understand that others do and then not obey rules of you style. Taekwondo man will kick, boxer will punch and Jujitsu man will wrestle, but the fighter who does all three well has a huge advantage. Likewise, Kendo man very good with sword, one man use staff or nunchuks, but true Kobudo master familiar with many weapons, not just him favorite.

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!]]> Mon, 14 May 2007 08:26:28 PST http://www.sportales.com/Martial-Arts/Sifu-Dansac-Explains-Advanced-Knife-Defense.28123 Hello Laui, nihao! My name Sifu Dansac, I am Kung Fu Master. Recently, many Laui read Sifu Dansac teachings on unarmed knife defense, bar fighting and escape from mugger. In those lesson, Sifu explain self-defense points practical for everyone, no matter size or level of training. Today, Sifu go into more depth for benefit of martial arts student and serious practitioner.

TAKE BASICS AS READ

Okay, so what are basics of unarmed knife defence? Basics are enemy with knife, try to kill you. Important remember right from off-set that man try to kill you is bad man; when you fear for you life, you have right to use extreme force. Sifu will explain legalities of extreme force and other deep Martial Arts issue.

EXTREME FORCE

Reasonable force is legal term, define in law to mean ‘minimum necessary force’; generally, this interpret to mean as much force as is need to repel attacker. Law not expect you to win; law expect you to survive and escape. Therefore, things Sifu will discuss in article only applicable when opponent is try to kill you and there is no way for escape except kill him first.

STEP 1: OVERCOME FEAR

Fear of knife is major problem; to overcome, Laui must be familiar with weapons and associate dangers. Best way overcome fear of knife is train with sword. Sifu say train, not carry; carry sword is illegal. It most important train you body, because read article not enough. Even if you memory good, recall Sifu advice in emergency, it not matter what you mind remember; you body must also remember and know what to do. Only way to teach body is to train.

If you are experienced Martial Artist, maybe even black belt, go ahead and get shinai (bamboo Kendo sword), then get friend and garden. It bad idea train even bamboo sword in street or front yard; police not like that sort of thing. It also bad train indoors with weapon, especially in house, so train outside in secure location such as own garden.

Proper equipment also essential; use proper shinai, which are cheap and safe. Whack friend with shinai, him only bruise. Whack him with stick, even cheap broom handle, you maybe break a bone. Shinai also not break; improvise wooden sword can break and become sharp-tip improvise spear; Sifu cannot stress enough, use proper shinai.

For best training to overcome fear, Laui should not us protective equipment. Kendo armour very expensive and reduce physical fear in training. Whole point of exercise is to feel fear in safe environment, feel shinai connect and what it like be hit; Laui learn quickest when training is real as possible. Nervous Laui may consider gum-shield and eye-goggle when use shinai, but Sifu think this make for lazy Laui.

If you are not black belt or very confident of your training, do not train shinai without supervision; it okay for black belts whack each other with sticks, they can take it and trust each other not do something stupid. Other student should have additional person look out for safety while train with shinai.

It not necessary be any good at sword fight; it only necessary for Laui to experience intensity of sword-fighting adrenaline. Once you have experience this, adrenaline of fear from knife much less, more familiar and easier to handle.

STEP 2: DISARMING ENEMY

Now you are brave, used to fight opponent with long reach and quick sword; knife is small and quick, but not nearly so scary as sword. Sword have what is called ‘defensive line’; this is solid barrier of sword edge between you and opponent. It not necessary him hit you, only interpose defensive line of sword in you path. Knife does not have defensive line; it is small, and opponent must present weapon in attack to do you harm. Obviously, if you are stupid and run straight onto knife, you in trouble; do not be reckless, but attack you opponent secure in knowledge that you can disarm man with sword, so knife much less scary.

Basic principle of sword fighting is to deal with weapon, then opponent arm, then opponent body. Same principle apply with knife; first, evade knife and seize opponent wrist. Do not seize hold of knife! It is possible grab knife by flat of blade, but very dangerous to try; intensive training and much luck needed to succeed. Seize opponent wrist and apply wrist lock. It not matter which wrist lock; only necessary cause opponent pain and occupy knife from attack again. If you familiar with nerve points, apply with wrist lock to increase opponent pain-compliance.

Do not concentrate on wrist lock at all; make grab, apply pain and immediately attack opponent arm. If possible, strike to elbow joint before apply shoulder-hold or arm-lock. Between wrist lock and shoulder-hold, experienced martial artist should find enough options to break opponent arm. Less experience Laui should only try restrain enemy; you are not done defend you self yet.

When you have knife and opponent arm restrained, hopefully broken, put enemy down hard. Stomp out him knee, sweep him foot, hip throw him, anything; wrestle him down by broken arm if you have to. Again, do not concentrate on take down; try easiest option, hurt opponent if him resist, but do immediately onto final stage of beating enemy senseless. If him arm is broken and he is down on floor, kick him in balls and face to end fight. If him is on feet, restrain and bruise but still feeling tasty, punch him in ribs, punch him in face, punch him until him drop. Allow you wrist lock and shoulder-hold to change as opponent struggles; let him squirm about, keep changing what you do, but never stop hit him until him on the floor and defeated.

PRINCIPLES:

Principle at work is to relax; fighting tense is not effective. If man swim tense, him will sink. If him box tense, him will lose. Tense man fall off bicycle, tense man never win at tennis. Why therefore should all Laui tense when in fight? It not good sense, Laui. Relax, be confident in you training. If you training not include prepare you for fear, then you training is too soft, Laui. It is easy think of what opponent can do to you with knife, but not often considered what trained fist can do to mugger face. Mugger’s nose is no tougher than ordinary nose; him balls just as small and sensitive, him elbow and knee joints work just like anyone else and snap just the same way.

KNOW YOU ENEMY:

Most important is that mugger also feel pain and fear; he is not invincible, he is not super man genetically engineer to be unbeatable mugging-machine. Him not unthinking predator; him is human being with thoughts and morality; him is think all the time about what him do and what other people is think. Him is live in fear of police and discovery; him got a lot to be afraid of and only knife to protect himself. Last thing mugger want is victim up in him face, giving it large and shouting odds, kick him in balls and wrestle for knife. Knife is mugger’s only protection; him will think about knife even when you are kick him in the nuts or poke his eye.

Understand thoughts in mugger head and understand you own fear. That right, Laui; know you enemy and know you self; understand that enemy fear is greater than yours and you will not fear him at all. You do not need knife; you are Martial Artist, you are practise Kung-Fu, so why you fear this little man who need little knife to feel big and brave? Take him knife away, break him arm, stomp him knee and punch him face; kick him balls and call him bad names while him cry at you feet; this is attitude of Martial Artist to dirty mugger who is human cockroach unworthy to walks streets use by decent people. For mugger, you should have only contempt; where there is contempt, there can be no fear; where there is no fear, there Laui will find victory.

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!]]> Mon, 14 May 2007 08:26:27 PST