Today I shall talk about a household name that cricket made famous and who shall be missed by millions following the ongoing world cup...
- No.. I am not talking about Bob Woolmer (May God do him the honour of resting in peace)
- No.. I am not talking about Inzamam-ul-Haq (May God allow him to eat & gain weight in peace)
- No.. I am not talking about Greg Chappell ( May God give him the courage to rip the BCCI to pieces )
& finally..No.. I am not even gonna talk about the a$$wipes who call themselves the Indian cricket team.. coz each & every one of them is gonna redeem their "honour" on India's tour of Bangladesh.. which the broadcasters & sponsors shall bill as the "BADLAA" series (& hence, not just make up for what they lost for India's exit from the WC..but also have enuf left over to sponsor India's scheduled short presence in the next world cup too..!!)... a series where our "wounded soldiers" shall take on the "Mighty Bangla Tigers"... The likes of Sachin, Dravid & Co. will fight out "menacing bowling attacks in hostile conditions" & then "overcome enormous pressure from home & bounce back from recent debacles" to score "hard-fought & patient" centuries..!!!May God keep the Indian players I once worshipped happy (with whatever jobs they take up after being sacked of course )Nope...none of all this... In fact I find it appalling that not many(if at all any) have even realized that this tragedy is in fact, at handWhen ESPNStar made the successful bid of US$ 1.1 billion for the TV rights for all the major international ODI & twenty-20 tournaments following the "07 World Cup to the "15 World Cup... It simultaneously meant the end of Sony's reign in cricket coverage which had begun with the 2002 Champions Trophy..But hey...thats great news right..?? After all there is no channel in the world to better the panel of Harsha Bhogle, Ravi Shastri, Alan Wilkins, Geoff Boycott, Wasim Akram & the other experts that always hop-in for the ESPNStar coverages... these were the very guys I miss now when I hear the hollow commentary & analysis in the World Cup..But although I was delighted when I heard of this news...there was one side of me (& i think I know which side ) which cannot help but feel that an ingenious approach to cricket coverage was gonna be wasted en route to its funeral...For the record...I am talking about (S)extraaa innings...the show that took off with Mandira Body (Oops... make that Bedi..!!!) as the host (& ya... I read that there is this guy called Charu Sharma also on the show...anyone managed to notice him..?? )So what if Mandira happens to be the dumbest cricket show host since...(Hmmmm...I dont seem to be getting any answers here...Is it possible that she is the dumbest of them all.??! )So what if during the "06 Champions Trophy.. she says for Barry Richards "He is too sexy for his shirt" who promptly gives her a look which conspicuously suggests "WTF is wrong with this dumb b**ch..!?!?"So what if she is the most narrow-minded indian supporter ever...?? someone who has the audacity to keep laughing at the Bangladesh team even after they beat the shit out of the Indian batsmen (yes... I have a good memory) much to the ire of the Bangla fans who have every right to proud of what their team has achieved( This post comes just after they have humbled the no.1 ranked team in the world)..So what if all she has to say after an innings is
- "He looked great while hitting that four"
- "I want you to see this sixes package only because I like _____ sooo much" (huh...WTF..!?!?)
- "Ooooh...I just love the way he caught/fielded that ball" (Wish she could also catch some balls eh..!?!? )
(OMG....Maybe its a good thing after all that ESPNStar got the rights..!!!!)
But then again, on which other show will u get to find a host who by herself is the reason to switch to Sony rather than the match that is being broadcasted..???
Which other channel would allow you to see cricket as a sport which offers more than just the usual bats & balls u get to see...to make u realize that cricket is in fact a conglomerate of several shapes (New shapes...so that is ur latest excuse for watching the show eh..?? )
On which other show will one of the questions asked in a contest as well as a hot debate be based merely on what Mandira is gonna wear to the show today..!?!?(I wonder why..when Tony Grieg was asked the same question...responded nonchalantly by saying that he wouldn"t mind the sight of her being topless anyone got answers..??)
Which other host has landed a role in "Manmadhan" (Those of u who know what "Manmadhan" means... know Mandira deserves this role...) based purely on her exploits on a cricket show..??
Who else can lay claim to introducing a brand new concept in sports coverage (Now u find female hosts in many sports...Even ESPN-Star now has female crew at the stadium to exploit the helplessness of loyal male sports fans..!!!)
& are we to believe that with ESPNStar acquiring the coverage rights of all major international tournaments ...that the era of Mandira Bedi is at an end..???
Yes...I am afraid it is indeed so... Coz I cant imagine any of the ESPN-Star guys welcoming her into their panel which never permits anyone other than a seasoned champion at playing and/or expressing views about the game to come On-Air during coverage ( whether they wouldn't welcome her company Off-Air is quite debatable though)
Thus, my friends, I shall ask you to Mourn in silence thanking Mandira for serving us with her presence on Cricket's grandest stage...
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Ooops...!!!!
Did I ask you to "...Mourn in silence thanking Mandira for serving us.."..??
Sorry..!!!
I meant.. ".. MOAN as silently as you can, thinking of Mandira's "services"..!!! "
AMEN u frustu perverts..!!!!
Disclaimer : I have not been offered any favours by Mandira for writing this post...!!!
