Have you been watching games of the PBA (Philippine Basketball Association) on the cable TV lately? I have.
I have known a long time ago that basketball is the acknowledged national diversion of many Filipinos, and today the PBA is the biggest sporting event in the Philippines in terms of the number of viewers who watch the games, both in the playing venues and on the boob tube. Its success is simply amazing that fans and the various broadcast media covering every game have obviously been carried away a great number of times by the torrid, faced-paced actions and the superb athleticism exhibited by many of the players that they completely altered the meanings of a lot of words offered in the English language dictionary!
For example, when you are watching a PBA game and suddenly hear the words COOL CAT, you will be surprised that these do not refer to a dispassionately calm feline. When DYNAMITE aims at its target, you need not scamper because it is not the explosive that contains nitroglycerin. FAST may be swift, but this one knows when to apply the brakes too when needed, while FEARLESS is challenged time and again inspite of its being brave. There are several names of petrol stations, but when you hear the FLYING A dashing down court, this certainly is not one of those. You may sometimes find FURIOUS not as intense as it should be, and the H-BOMB missing its target completely. Bill Gates can't possibly charter this JET to fly across the United States even if he tries to pay a quarter of his fortune for it. If MAJOR PAIN is indeed a serious physical suffering, then it must be to the players of the other team.
How can MAN MOUNTAIN be synonymous to being a behemoth when bigger and taller creatures simply put up an umbrella-like defense to obscure its view of the goal? Possibly but again only to the other team, MENACE brings constant threat. When MIGHTY MITE tries to save the ball from going out-of-bounds and lands on your lap, you will be relieved to note that this is not the pestering, extraordinarily powerful arachnid.
RAH RAH RAH is not the usual cheering chant, but hey it just evaded three guards and scored a basket! There is no need to ask for a bulldozer to move the ROCK aside. A double-team effort can do the work effectively.
What about a number of firemen with special equipment to reach high altitudes? Should they be called upon in case the SKYSCRAPER gets on fire? I don't think that is necessary. It very seldom does now.
In all likelihood, SLASHER will get the job done! Never mind, it's not the dreaded killer who uses an edged blade. If SLICK is something smooth or slippery, how come those on the other team hate it so much? When you do watch a game during the tail part of a weekend, try to look for the SUNDAY SPECIAL. No, it is not an ice cream treat, silly. It is a three-point specialist! And while you're at it, remember to watch out for the THRILLER. But this one is not the usual fiction with a high degree of intrigue, adventure, or suspense. It is a fact.
How would you like to travel back in time when some words, not much heard of anymore during PBA games of the present days, were twisted of their true definitions? Consider the following:
The AERIAL VOYAGER did not require a Boeing 747 to glide to the basket for a twinner. It seemed it had its own wings to soar.
BIG J was not necessarily the letter "J" written in uppercase. It was instead the most charismatic local figure to have played the game.
It was not the military rank that we know, but the CAPTAIN did hold the line firmly during crucial situations.
Forget about the DESTROYER. It can't do much annihilations under the condition it is in right now. It's in a sorry state, and very sad indeed!
The DIRECTOR did not supervise the stage or screen production of a show. But it did direct the 1989 Grand Slam spectacle.
FLASH then rushed and dashed, but an ugly knee injury sent it to an unexpected early retirement.
Would you have preferred your FORTUNE COOKIE handed to you before or after a meal? It probably did not matter much if the strip of paper inside it indicated real good luck, like if it invited you out for a candlelight dinner.
What would you have done if FRANCHISE smiled at you? You would have surely smiled back intently, but remember that it is neither a privilege nor a right granted.
Do you think a Marvel comic superhero roamed the playing courts then? Well there was IRON MAN, but it was not the one you know. It was the one that held the record for sometime for playing the most number of games in succession.
There was a MAGICIAN around then, but it was not obviously in the league of the wizard Merlin of King Arthur. It just was able to convert incredible shots.
MR. CLUTCH was not a salesman of a certain driving mechanism, although he changed gears a lot of times to make his team win.
POINT LAUREATE was evidently not an honor earned for writing prose and poetry. It was for point-making, in case you did not notice.
This PRINCE chose to man the backcourt rather than play atop a horse in a polo game for his sovereign father's royal team.
Many wondered why the SCHOLAR was not a student holding a grant-in-aid. In fact, it taught many not to attempt "in-your-face" shots while it was the one holding fort.
It appeared like it was taking steps in the air as it flew to the basket. This was SKYWALKER, not Luke though of the famous Star Wars series.
If it merely stole balls away from the opponents' hands, why was the SULTAN OF SWIPES called as such when it was never a master of sharp, critical remarks?
Smaller bodies dared to stop the TANK on its tracks since it was not an enclosed heavily armed and armored combat vehicle anyway.
Who among you remember the 1960's Motown band specializing in soul music? Yeah, you're right - TOWER OF POWER. I still do not understand to this day why there was one who did not sing one tune, yet jammed one too many goals out of shape.
Finally, would you like to call someone out from retirement to accomplish what both DYNAMITE and H-BOMB cannot consistently do? Try the TRIGGERMAN. He can shoot the lights out in every game - but none of those guns of course!
